The 7th Pick in the 2018 CMC Mock Draft

The 7th Pick in the 2018 CMC Mock Draft is sponsored by Dentyne

Honestly, Dentyne had the little crappy chewing market on lock back in the day with their 4 out of 5 dentist schtick.  Somehow they let Orbitz and and a bunch of other brands steal their idea and now they're slinging lame stuff like Dentyne Ice (which sounds more like a beer than a gum).

The Tampa Bay Bucs select Derwin James S Florida St.

The Bucs have shown a willingness when their board is close to default to Florida St and Florida players to help grow ticket sales.  James is one of many strong secondary standouts on the board at this point.  James is a freak of an athlete and if he stays healthy has the ceiling to be a transcendent Safety.

The 6th Pick in the 2018 CMC Mock Draft

The 6th pick in this years draft is sponsored by Millwaukee sports

Honestly...does anyone give a shit about Millwaukee sports outside of maybe Millwaukee?  Their claim to fame is the Packers and they don't even play in Millwaukee.  The Brewers are only interesting when their players are taking steroids and the Bucks are one greek freak free agency away from being forgotten for another 20 years.  "Who are we playing tonight?"... "Millwaukee [Insert Team]"...."Oh...we can get those tickets down at the stadium for half price".  Its an arena football/minor league hockey town at best.  They should make a championship league like England does one rung below the premiership and let cities like Millwaukee, St. Louis, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, and Buffalo feel good about themselves.


The Indianapolis Colts Select Bradley Chubb DE NC State

Best player available and Chubb drops into Indy's lap.  (btw Indianapolis can put their teams in the league mentioned above too).  Its been a while since the days of Freeney and Mathis.  It will be good to see a force on that Indianapolis D-line again.

The 5th Pick of the CMC Mock Draft...

is sponsored by the Goliath Zoingo Boingo Pogo Ball.

Chief Designer Dr Kerry Schitz-Cribbler took the original Pogo Ball from the 80's and added a contour-friendly handle to it attached to the ball - a brilliant piece of shit!

Buy it for your spoiled kids and have them shout out  "Zoingo Boingo!"


The Denver Broncos select:

Josh Allen, QB, Wyoming

This is a pure John Elway move as he sees this kid as a poor man's version of himself.  If Allen can be half as good as Elway was, then this was the right choice.  Allen can hold the clipboard for a year and learn from Case Keenum (a guy who has earned his way as a legitimate NFL QB).  With a 56% completion percentage in college raising accuracy and decision making questions, this is clearly a boom or bust selection.

The 4th Pick of the CMC Mock Draft...

... is sponsored by the Carolina Energy of the American Arena League

This league that includes such teams as the Cape Fear Heroes, Upstate Dragons, High County Grizzlies and Savannah Coastal Outlaws!

The Cleveland Browns select:

Quinton Nelson, OG, Notre Dame

You got your quarterback, now you get the best offensive lineman in the draft to protect him. Nelson appears to be the closest thing to a sure thing in this draft. And Josh Allen and Bradley Chubb begin to slide, so there could be a trade opportunity here for a QB hungry team (Buffalo?).

The 3rd Pick in the CMC Mock Draft....

...is sponsored by Cottonelle Ultra ComfortCare toilet paper

Why? Because it's the best damn toilet paper on the market and you don't let guests use it. You buy that Walmart shit for 68 cents a four-pack for your guests because who cares if they get ass rashes. However, the silky smooth feeling of that soft cottonelle tissue paper only gets to be used on your ass because it's your house and you're the king.

The New York Jets select:

Sam Darnold, QB, USC

The Jets will take somewhere between one and five seconds making this pick because otherwise they might have been looking at a tough decision between Josh Allen and Baker Mayfield. Now they can take the quarterback they want, sit out the rest of the day and start looking into offensive linemen and skill players in the 3rd-4th rounds.

The 2nd Pick in the 2018 CMC Mock Draft...

...is sponsored by Uniross alkaline batteries.



You buy 5 and get the 6th for FREE - this is INSANE.

Sold at flea markets along the Appalachian trail.

The New York Giants select:

Saquon Barkley, RB, PSU

Gettleman says "F*ck the noise" and brings in a player that quite frankly isn't the best common sense decision for the franchise.  At #2, you go QB since this position is to replace Eli.  Darnold/Mayfield/Allen are there for the future.  These guys, however, are not of the Luck/Mariota ilk.  The signs are there for NYG - they got a left tackle in Solder and now get a bonafide RB to change the immediate landscape of the offense.  The time is now.  Look for Gettleman/Shurmur to agree on a 2nd-3rd round pick for QB to compete with Davis Webb.

The 1st Pick in the 2018 CMC Mock Draft

The first pick in the 2018 CMC Mock Draft is brought to you by Hunt's ketchup and whatnot.  America's distant 2nd choice in ketchup for 100 years.  Heinz's little brother is most likely available at 2nd rate restaurants, ALDI's, and your local BJ's wholesale (note Costco carries Heinz...see the theme here?).  From an ingredient standpoint Hunt's and Heinz are probably the same but if you go to your coworker's cookout and they're rocking Hunt's you know the meat is gonna be Grade C (but edible).  Shout out to local supermarket brands somehow you're generic branding is better than Hunt's

The Cleveland Browns Select Josh Rosen QB UCLA

No brainer pick here.  Rosen is the most NFL ready QB in the draft and the safest pick for a franchise that hasn't seen a good QB since Blue Schlitz started VPK back in the day.  Rosen has that rare gift last seen by Jay Cutler.  He's that QB that you just want to punch in the face.  He's going to infuriate the Cleveland fan base with his inconsistency followed by that Cutleresque "who cares smirk".  Cleveland will give up on him too early and the Patriots will get their Tom Brady replacement in time for the 2021 season.