Wednesday, April 18, 2012

#9 Carolina Panthers...


...sponsored by North Korea, the 5-time winner of the Who's Who of International Governments, sponsored by Pez. Winning the award in 2008 thru 2011, the North Korean brass had 4 straight Who's Who's. 2012 marked a slim of slimmest margin of victories, as they were one vote away from losing to Syria, whose humanitarian efforts skyrocketed them to runner-up.

The Carolina Panthers select: Matt Kalil, OT, Southern Cal

Merry Christmas Carolina. In the name of BPA (and I am not talking about Bisphenol A, the toxic sh*t put in baby bottles) - the Panthers get the Best Player Available. How in the world could he slide so far? Same thing happened to Aaron Rodgers (who went 24th!!!). That's the draft for you. DeAngelo Williams just tweeted that he is rubbing his 5th straight one out in his auntie's bathroom.

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