Two afternoon plays

Miami & UNC (Over 71)
Alabama (-21) over Missouri

Good luck

Noon Exacta

Auburn -7.5 over Arkansas
Northwestern +3 over Penn State

Post-Noon Play

Duke +2 over Wake Forest!

Early Plays 9-22-12 CFB

Va Tech -17

Ohio St -35.5

Sun Nite Football

9ers are defensively as good as last year.

Offensively, significantly better.

9ers -7

NFL 1pm plays

Well, it was a grinding, yet over .500 Saturday. Highlighted by the best 2 picks of the yr in Arkansas +19.5 & SMU +10.

Last night, saw no value in any 1p games until this morning - which goes to show you...one can only have a clear mind. Making decisions with a tired dome, hungry brain or out of desperation spells trouble.

Philadelphia -2.5

The 'Nati -7

Indianapolis +3

This blog sponsored by Gator Realty

Florida State / Clemson next week

Wow. Was going to watch a whole season of "Alf" that Saturday, but plans have changed.

Damn...

...John L Smith burned my ase, really thought Tyler Wilson was going to play.

This wager is toast.

More CFB 9-15-12

Penn State -6.5

SMU +10

Arkansas +19.5

Early CFB Plays

Virginia Tech (-10) over Pittsburgh

Minnesota & Western Michigan (Over 54)

CFB today 9-15-12

Pitt +10

Purdue -24

Boise St -21

Auburn -15

Thurs Night NFL Chi @ GB

Ok, it does appear degenerate-like to wager on both football games tonight.

The Bears looked ok against the Colts and won by 20.

The Pack got manhandled at home by the stacked 49ers.

So why am I taking GB? Because every week is a different week and I see GB's offense being the difference here.

Green Bay -5

Thurs Night CFB Rutgers at USF

The Young Schlitz Azul is coming into this week at 6-6.

With a big win at Nevada - just feeling USF here. Ballsy pick considering Los Toros are 0-8 ATS in their last 8 thursday night games.

USF -7, bought down 1/2 pt

Bengals / Ravens

Ravens have an aging D. No Terrell Suggs. Ray Lewis is 49 yrs old.

This is Andy Dalton's second campaign - I am betting there will be no soph jinx tonight.

Bengals +7, taking the points, 'Nati can win this game outright.

Broncos/Steelers...

...seeing this game on paper, I wanted no part of it.

This game could be analyzed till one goes paralyzed.

Yet, just before kickoff, it all dawned on me...and it was too late to place a bet.

What dawned on me is that this was a game Peyton circled on the calendar. A game with too much Bronco energy.

These are the games where one has to throw out stats and paper matchups.

Denver could have beat anyone last night.

These thoughts sponsored by Certs.

4pm game...

...Just not buying Russell Wilson leading the Seahawks like RG3 is doing today.

Skelton has more game experience and does have some nice receivers to throw to.

Arizona +2.5 to win straight up

One 1pm game...

... Chicago -11

I don't expect instant success from Luck - especially against a Chicago defense at home.

Cutler and co will put up some points better than their counterparts.

Chicago by 18

Wash State's

...defense allowed 200 rushing yards last week vs San Diego St.

Now they travel to Baton Rouge.

Think about it.

LSU -23.5

USC -24.5

Going with the Ice Man.

Close your eyes and listen to the Trojan band playing the tune all day long.

Rocky Start of the season...

...for the young Blue Schlitz, going 2-4 so far.

It's a marathon, not a sprint.

The juices start flowing on gameday, where I get more of a pulse on who I like.

Taking South Carolina -21 today at 12:20p.

All signs point toward east Carolina here. They disposed of App St last week and the G'cocks barely got by Vanderbilt.

Yet every week is a different week.

Noon Play

I've been thinking of Kansas State  -7 against Miami but this is one of those games were I tend to overthink things so I'm a little worried.

Both teams have issues on defense. Miami has major personnel flaws in their front seven while K-State is trying to shuffle some of their front four.

Both teams can move the ball. KSU should be able to rush for over 250 yards against Miami unless they opt for passing instead and could break the 350-400 yard barrier like Boston College did last year.

Miami too can put points on the board with their running game, led by superstar freshman Duke Johnson and a couple of older guys.

So rather than take the 7 seven points that KSU should cover I'm going for broke and rooting for offense. Give me the Over 57.5 and let's go O!

2 More weekend plays

USC -26 vs. Syracuse (neutral site game in NYC) -- I love the narrative of Barkley and Kiffin showing off for the NY heisman media.  Syracuse D couldnt stop the Northwestern offense.  What are they going to do with Barkley and Co.

Nebraska -5.5 at UCLA Rex Burkhead is ? but they dont need him to roll up on UCLA.  The Bruins arent as bad as last year but they still arent very good. 

Looking ahead to the weekend CFB matchups

One line stands out to me...Penn State +10 at Virginia.  Its a combination of Penn St being bad but not THAT bad and Virginia is way to soft to be laying 10 points of chalk against anyone.  I think Penn St could win outright so I'll take the points.

Kansas St. -7 at home against the Canes in intriguing.  We havent seen KState yet but they were pretty impressive last year.  I think the Canes are a little overvalued.  Duke Johnson is a beast and bailed them out of a pretty lackluster performance. I think this is  a trap with alot of the public siding with the U. 

Early NCAA Plays this week.

Ohio Ice feels strongly about this weeks Thursday and Friday Night Play

Pittsburgh/Cincinnati

If you look at the 4 point line and immediately jump on UC..ask yourself, what do you know about UC?  They have a good coach and a whole new cast of unproven talent.  Will they reload?  Pitt on the other hand got dismantled by a FCS school last week.  Hard to spin it any other way.  They had a number of suspended players back this week and I think they are better than UC.

Pittsburgh +4.  Dont be shocked if Pitt wins outright

Utah/Utah St.

People still havent forgotten Utah St.'s almost shocking upset at Auburn last year.  They even went to a bowl (and lost to Ohio U). But what people might have forgotten is that Utah might be the best team in the Pac 10 not called USC or Oregon.  They are extremely talented and will roll their instate rival

Utah -7

Baylor/SMU

Ball clubs a-la LSU, 'Bama, Ohio State, USC always load up perennially.

And Baylor does?

SMU +7.5

Nice pick Schlitz!

Bama/Michigan

Ask yourselves this question: Can Dennard Robinson throw the pigskin through those slim Crimson Tide windows?

Probably not - which means he has to run...and he is not running against Purdue's defense.

Alabama -13

Grrrrr...

....Boise...

Damned if you do...

Anyway moving on and trying not to feel too down. Lots of BCS vs. Mid-Major matchups at 12 p.m. and to be perfectly honest in a normal week I'd skip them all.

However this is opening week so I'll indulge a little.

Georgia -38.5 over Buffalo: Georgia's defense might be their best in years and I expect Aaron Murray to try to launch his darkhorse Heisman campaign this week. 52-7 is my call.

Pondering Ohio State -25.5 over Miami (Ohio) in Urban's debut but not quite there yet.

Boise = Damned if you do...

I love watching Boise State.

I hate betting on Boise State.

They are too good to feel confident about betting against them in big games even though they are routinely at a talent and depth disadvantage.

That being said Friday's game against Michigan State is just too good to pass up. The Spartans are a -7 favorite, which according to Ohio Ice has recently moved up from 6.5. This is a total trap line in my opinion. Boise has lost of ton -- most of their front seven on defense, Kellen Moore and Doug Martin on offense.

Michigan State should have their way with Boise State to the tune of 34-17. That being said there will be late money on Boise because people have been burned by the Broncos in the past and the argument of giving Chris Petersen nine months to prep for one game usually works out in his favor.

Don't fall for it.

Period.

CMC Mock Draft NFL Futures Challenge

To build off the massive popularity of the CMC mock draft.  This is the first annual NFL futures challenge.

Ohio Ice's picks are sponsored by Bubble Up (because they have pa-Zazz for that Azz)

Top five picks are highlighted in Green and Red

Cardinals	7	Over	Cards can win 8 games in an easier conference if Kolb can be average
Falcons	9	Over	Tough division but this is the team that I think has the Texans breakout of last year.  If they split with NO they can hit 10
Ravens	10	Under	With Pitt and Cincy in conference its not hard to see a 9-7 especially with the way they play down to their competition out of division
Bills	8	Under	Not a 9-7 team considering NE should be them twice
Panthers	7.5	Over	I can see the Panthers at 8-8 if they can impove even slightly on D
Bears	9.5	Under	A 9-7 Bears wouldn’t be shocking with 4 games against GB and DET
Bengals	8	Under	Sophomore slump for Dalton  They had a favorable schedule last year and his numbers waned as defenses figured him out
Browns	5	Under	This team sucks and they have to play 6 games against Bengals, Ravens, Steelers
Cowboys	8.5	Under	Tough call but Philly and NYG seem better bets
Broncos	9	Over	Just cant bet against Manning and an easy division
Lions	9	Under	I think they will go 9-7 but have to pick one or the other.  Easier to see 8-8 than 10-6
Packers	12	Over	No reason to think Pack cant win 13
Texans	10	Over	Tough call 10-6 is about right so I'll go over in with 6 games against Titans, Colts, Jags
Colts	5	Under	Rookie QB and depleted roster
Jags	5.5	Over	They could win 6 even though they suck because all the other crappy teams are in their division
Chiefs	8	Under	All their weapons back but Eli Manning is in the house along with Phil Rivers
Dolphins	7	Under	Dolphins suck…and their division is strong see also Browns,Cleveland
Vikings	6	Under	If Bears, Lions, and Green Bay are strong then Vikings must not win many…see also Browns, Cleveland and Dolphins, Miami
Patriots	12	Over	No reason to think Brady and his newest cast of weapons cant win 13 (they won 14 last year withou Brandon Lloyd)
Saints	10	Under	Tough one as 10 is the right number to me. I say under and bet on a Falcons resurgence with all the distractions in New Orleans
Giants	9	Over	They are the Giants…they'll probably suck during the regular season and win 9 games…but I have to pick something!
Jets	8.5	Over	They can win 9 with a little Tebow magic
Raiders	7	Under	If you cant see the Oakland raiders at 6-10 then you havent seen the Oakland Raiders
Eagles	10.5	Over	This is another breakout team if Vick can stay healthy.  11 wins for the best team on paper is doable
Steelers	10	Over	Never bet against the Steelers in anything except a hot cheerleader competition
Chargers	9	Over	Denver and SD in a dog fight with KC and Oak sniffing jockstraps
49ers	10	Over	Super easy conference with one of the best D in football.
Seahawks	7	Under	These guys kinda suck unless Matt Flynn is the real deal.  They have holes all over the roster
Rams	6	Over	The Rams made some moves in the offseason, their conference is soft, and we have forgotten about last year.
Buccaneers	6	Under	They brought in some weapons but they have a very stiff schedule
Titans	7	Over	Easiest conference in football gifts them 8-8 or 9-7 like last year
Redskins	6.5	Under	They could win 7 but Dallas, NYG, and Philly are all better than them.  They would be the best 6-10 team in the league…but it could happen

Final Picks 59-63

...co-sponsored by this Charlotte Hornets jacket and the Whisper2000.

 With the jeans of your choice, wear this vintage Charlotte Hornets jacket to an after-hours corporate party.  I guarantee Darla from the payables department is going to throw that a$$ your way.

and by...

Whisper2000...because quite simply, it's as valuable as a couple of infant sh*tballs.  You got burned again.

59. Green Bay Packers, select Josh Robinson, CB, UCF

GB goes back-to-back on defense in Rds 1 & 2.  There defense was not sustainable enough to carry them through the 2011 playoffs - they could not stop the pass. Robinson brings the depth that GB needs to weather a full season.

60. Baltimore Ravens, select Bobby Wagner, LB, Utah St

Ravens get a board riser with the 60th pick.  Consider this a Ray Lewis insurance policy - payout could be respectable.

61. San Francisco 49ers, select Chris Polk, RB, Washington

49ers are restocking their running game and select Polk since Brandon Jacobs & Frank Gore are both closing in on full depreciation.

62. New England Patriots, select Billy Winn, DT, Boise St

After taking Devon Still, the Patriots make a clear message in wanting a dominant defensive line by taking another Boise St player in Winn.  Winn's underachieving reputation lowered his stock value.  Belichick can change that.

63. New York Giants, select Mike Adams, OT, Ohio St

Big Blue goes RB & OT for their first two picks.  A 2011 avg yards per carry number of 3.8 will dictate that for you.  May this be a certified Ohio Ice approved pick.

Picks #54-58

These five picks are sponsored by America's youth. Jobs? Careers? Who gives a shit because we're just going to travel in our WV Bus and go to Slipknot concerts.


54th pick Detroit selects Casey Heyward, CB, Vanderbilt because someone needs to help take pressure off the pass rush and keep Kong Suh from stepping on people's heads.

55th pick Atlanta selects Mitchell Schwartz, OT, California to help shore up an offensive line that is starting to show its age and some cracks.

56th pick Pittsburgh selects Derek Wolfe, DT, Cincinnati and they may have gotten a steal as Wolfe is a scheme-friendly explosive player as a pass-rushing tackle or end in the 3-4.

57th pick Denver selects LaMichael James, RB, Oregon as Willis McGahee isn't getting any younger and Knowshon Moreno isn't getting any healthier.

58th pick Houston selects Bruce Irvin, OLB, West Virginia as he is a bit of a wild card with all-world athleticism. If the Texans can protect Irvin and put him in passing situations he'll have double digit sacks.

Pick 53

The Bengals 2nd Round Selection is sponsored by Hungry Man Valentines Edition.  Could this be the final crack in the American Empire?  Could this be the lead in the water supply that drove the Romans mad?  Have you ever seen a greater train wreck than Heart Shaped Meatloaf and Pink-dyed mashed potatoes in a TV dinner package.  A 4 pound dinner for 1!!!!!

The Bengals Select David Wilson RB Virginia Tech.  Wilson would be a good value at this spot.  The Bengals need to figure out who the back of the future is.  Benjarvus Green Ellis should hold it down for a couple years while we see if Wilson has what it takes.

Picks 48-52

These next 5 picks are sponsored by the new 2013 LA Gear Greg Oden's.  The good news is no one is going to shoot you in the parking lot because they want your "Oden's"...although if you wear these you probably deserve to be shot.  Please note, any likeness to air jordan's are completely coincidental.  LA Gear is about originality and performance. 

Round 2 Pick 16 (#48 Overall) New England Devon Still DT Penn St.
New England, as they always do, take the top available player on the board.  Still is good value this far down and will help Vince Wilfork in the trenches.

Round 2 Pick 17 (#49 Overall) San Diego Mohamed Sanu WR Rutgers
Sanu isnt going to make anyone forget about Vincent Jackson but there's no doubt Phillip Rivers needs targets now that his two favorite guys are gone (Jackson and Sproles). 

Round 2 Pick 18 (#50 Overall) Chicago Peter Konz C Wisconsin
Konz helps upgrade the interior of the Bears line.  An OL from Wisconsin won't have any trouble adjusting to the cold weather of Soldier Field.  A short two hour drive from Madison to Chicago should please the Konz family.

Round 2 Pick 19 (#51 Overall) Philadelphia Lavonte David LB Nebraska
Philly doesnt have too many holes in its starting line up going into the draft.  Getting a Safety in the first round and a backer in the second round is just what the doctor ordered.  This team on paper should be a contender this year.

Round 2 Pick 20 (#52 Overall) Tennessee Bryan Quick WR Appalachian St.
Tennessee adds depth at WR.  It became clear after Kenny Britt went out last year that the receiver corps wasnt deep.  Quick put up great numbers at the 1-AA level.  Can he contribute early in Tennessee..if so it will take pressure of Britt's bad knee.

Pick #47

The 47th pick of the CMC Mock Draft is sponsored by the 2010 Pontiac G8 ST that was sadly never released. It was supposed to bring the El Camino up to the modern times. Both the El Camino and Pontiac have seen better days.

The New York Jets select Ronnell Lewis, LB, Oklahoma, a good fit for a 3-4 because Lewis has a high motor, can play the run and is a decent pass rusher. His biggest strength is his tackling ability, the downside is the injury history in his neck and back. So it's a bit of a risk/reward pick.

Picks 43-46

...sponsored by this t-shirt. Because once worn, we guarantee she will melt in your arms like a piece of Sonny's pulled pork sliding off the bone. Add on the "Real Trucks Rattle" bumper sticker to your order for FREE (s&h charge of $21.50 only).

43. Seattle Seahawks, select Amini Silatolu, OG, Midwestern St

Seattle has a new QB this year "the 1 game wonder", this guy will protect him and open up the interior running lanes with his mauler style of play.

44. Kansas City Chiefs, select Brandon Weeden, QB, Oklahoma St

Yes, he is 29 yrs old.  But the guy can bring that instant maturity now. Matt Cassel (also 29) has never really blossomed with the Chiefs, he's simply a product of the Patriots machine that made him better than advertised.

45. Dallas Cowboys, select Mychal Kendricks, LB, Cal

Dallas has all kind of linebacking needs outside of Sean Lee.  Kendricks brings a high motor and is a sound tackling machine.  In the NFC East, defense becomes a premium need - especially b/c Dallas has to now chase both Vick and RG3 around.

46. Philadelphia Eagles, select Alshon Jeffery, WR, South Carolina

The Eagles receivers are quick and elusive, but they are not big.  Enter the rangy, strong, high leaping Jeffery to the mix and the Eagles become that much more dangerous.  Andy Reid loves offense.

Picks 38-42

This is sponsored by Sprite's "Aruba Jam" remix. A truly underappreciated soft drink creation should have lasted much longer.

Round 2, Pick 6 (38th overall) Jacksonville selects Vinny Curry, DE, Marshall, just imagine how excited a guy named Vinny is to be stuck in Jacksonville. But the Jaguars need a pass rush.

Round 2, Pick 7 (39th overall) St. Louis selects Lamar Miller, RB, Miami, because Stephen Jackson has been a warrior but he's getting up there and Cadillac Williams isn't the back up you want in case shit hits the fan.

Round 2, Pick 8 (40th overall) Carolina selects Trumaine Johnson, CB Montana, the only man named "Trumaine" in Montana is the first non-FBS school prospect selected in this draft.

Round 2, Pick 9 (41st overall) Buffalo selects A.J. Jenkins, WR, Illinois, the Bills are always looking for skill talent to replace the skill talent that will soon leave via free agency.

Round 2, Pick 10 (42nd overall) Miami selects Dwayne Allen, Clemson, TE, because whether Matt Moore or Tannehill is your quarterback neither is good enough to be productive without a good tight end.

Round 2 Picks 1-5

The first 5 picks are sponsored by G-shock by Casio. If you were going to battle wouldnt you want to know you're nerdy digital watch is up for th challenge?

Round 2 Pick 1 (#33 Overall) St. Louis Dont'a Hightower LB Alabama
Hightower slips out of the first round into the happily awaiting arms of the Rams.  Talent upgrades are needed in St. Louis and help is on the way as they have a ton of picks this and next year thanks to the trade down with the Redskins.

Round 2 Pick 2 (#34 Overall) Indianpolis Jonahan Martin  OT Stanford 
Nothing sexy about this pick.  Just some more beef up front.  Unless the Colts want Winston Justice as the only option to protect their new franchise QB they need to take the top Tackle on the board.

Round 2 Pick 3 (#35 Overall) Minnesota Rueben Randle WR LSU
Minnesota needs targets for Christian Ponder.  Randle is the top WR on the board and an upgrade over every current weapon save AP and Percy Harvin

Round 2 Pick 4 (#36 Overall) Tampa Bay Alfonzo Dennard CB Nebraska
Physical corner who upgrades the depleted secondary for the Bucs.  Ronde wont play forever and Talib is always an incarceration risk.

Round 2 Pick 5 (#37 Overall) Cleveland Nick Perry DE USC
After going RB/WR in the first round the Browns start to build up there Defensive Core.  Perry is a possible first rounder and is an instant talent upgrade for the Browns who need alot of talent upgrades.

2012 NFL Mock Draft Round 2 Begins

We know you dont want to look at our junk but we're going to put it out there and you wont have any choice.  Just dont stare too long at our................Round 2 picks

#32 New York Giants...

...is sponsored by Greece. Look how beautiful our country is. Got any cash though?

The New York Giants select: Doug Martin, RB, Boise St

Yes, Big Blue needs a better offensive line. Their last 1st Rd drafted offensive lineman was Luke Petitgout, who averaged a false start on every offensive series. The Giants have proven they can build an O-line later in the draft.

Doug Martin, aka the Muscle Hamster, is a tough downhill runner - what Brandon Jacobs used to be (sometimes). Martin will immediately share carries with Ahmad Bradshaw.

#31 New England Patriots

The military of Iran is ready for battle and also sporting their fresh University of Oregon hats. Leave it up to NIKE to sponsor a war in a Middle East. Napalm -- Just Do It!

With the 31st pick in the CMC Mock Draft the New England Patriots select Harrison Smith S Notre Dame as the pass defense of the Patriots was exposed pretty much every time the opposing quarterback took the snap.

#30 San Francisco 49ers

The 30th pick is sponsored by Kyrgyzstan.  I dont know much about good ole kyrgyzstanbut can someone buy those motherfuckers a vowel? 

The San Francisco 49ers Select Kevin Zeitler OG Wisconsin.  The NFL will be shocked to know that Wisconsin produced yet another massive white interior OL.  Thats never happened before.  The 49ers defense returns everyone and is stacked.  If they can be average on offense they could be back in the super bowl discussion again in 2012.  Zeitler will play early and be a contributor which is a bonus at pick 30.

#29 Baltimore Ravens...

...sponsored by this posh neighborhood in Nunavut, Canada called "Pristine Meadows". Nunavut, which spans 725k square miles, successfully separated itself from the Northwestern Territories in 1999. The igloo shown above is the "Palezzo" model and comes with broadband internet.

The Baltimore Ravens select: Stephen Hill, WR, Ga Tech

If anyone knows anything, they would know that Lee Evans helped this pick. Baltimore's defense is aging and they will address it in the rest of the draft. However, it's a QB's league. The Ravens now have speedsters Hill (who ran a 4.36 in the 2012 combine) and Torrey Smith (who ran a 4.43 in the 2011 combine) at the flanks. Hill is a fast riser.

#28 Green Bay Packers

The 28th pick in the CMC Mock Draft is brought to you by Kroger's expansion into the Uzbekistan grocer's market. Obviously they face some challenges (lack of a building, lack of proper storage space and cooling systems, unrest in the area) but the big positive to Uzbekistan is....a shitload of gold. Fourth in the world bitches! Bling bling.

With the 28th selection the Green Bay Packers select Andre Branch DE Clemson as the Packers' lack of pass rush caught up to them at the worst time last year -- the playoffs. As the old saying goes, you can't win if you can't get to the quarterback or if your football team is located in Cleveland.

#27 New England Patriots

The 27th pick is sponsored by the Kurdistan.  The Kurds are the largets ethnic group in the world (besides video gamers and scientologists) that do not have a homeland.  Unlike those whiny Palestinians we dont blame the Jews. Now that Saddam is gone all we need is to sack Istanbul and tell the Turks to fuck themselves.  Kurdish women arent hot AT ALL but they're more attractive than  camels. 

The New England Patriots Select Shea McClellin DE Boise St. the Pats need some outside pass rush to support Vince Wilfork's push in the middle.  McClellin and Nick Perry are the two top ends on the board.  The Pats need help on D as their offense continues to chug along.

#26 Houston Texans...

...sponsored by the long country of Chile. Because you are f*cked if you live in Tierra del Fuego and have to drive up to see your girlfriend in the Atacama Desert - so send her a postcard and dump her already.

The Houston Texans select: Courtney Upshaw, LB, Alabama

At this position, Houston can look to replace Mario Williams with a Nick Perry or Shea McClellin (two hot board risers) or look to replace DeMeco Ryans. The answer is easy: The Texans defense was dominant without Mario Williams. Upshaw is the best answer and arguably the best player available. The defense just gets that much better.

#25 Denver Broncos

The 25th pick in the CMC Mock Draft is sponsored by the great nation of Brazil (Brasil if you are a native). This country does not suck at all. I'm just sayin'.

The Denver Broncos select Coby Fleener TE Stanford. I believe the only reason the Broncos haven't signed free agent TE Dallas Clark is because they see this guy as a bigger, better version of the pro that happens to be 10 years younger. This guy is going to catch 75 balls as a rookie from Peyton Manning and break records. He's like Jeremy Shockey without being a whiny, prima donna, gangster-wanna be bitch that every quarterback in the league hates. Take everything good about Shockey, eliminate everything negative and adds some extras like a brain and work ethic and you get Fleener.

#24 Pittsburgh Steelers

The 24th pick is sponsored by the sovereign nation of Quebec.  We're not French Canadians anymore we are Quebecois.  We fight, we drink, we're rugged.  Please dont confuse us with real French panzies. 

The Steelers select Chandler Jones DE/LB Syracuse the Steelers never saw a pass rusher they didnt love.  Jones the brother of UFC Champ John Jones is a bad man.  He belongs in Pittsburgh or Baltimore.  He's been rising up draft boards and might not be available here. 

#23 Detroit Lions...

...sponsored by Bora Bora, a French Polynesian territory. Located just 5000 miles southwest of Alabama, Bora Bora's beauty cannot be rivaled. At the local shopping market, a few bags of groceries will run you about $850. So, you tourists with a median income of around 200k are not welcome - take your meager income and shove it. We need real spenders. Yeah, that's right, f*ck off.

The Detroit Lions select: Luke Keuchly, LB, Boston College

Somehow, a player with a top ten overall grade slides down to #23, just where Detroit wants it. Sure, Detroit could use a Tackle or CB, but the top shelf is bare. In a division where offenses are dominant, an addition such as the heady Keuchly should add instant help to the linebacking corp.

#22 Cleveland Browns

The 22nd pick in the draft is sponsored by the principality of Monaco where being a millionaire isn't a status, it's a way of life. My man right here Sherit Shaqem Pollock wipes his ass with the $100 bills that aren't crisp.

The Cleveland Browns select Kendall Wright WR Baylor and have done a good job of getting Colt McCoy some more weapons on offense so they can see if he's got the goods or not.

#21 Cincinnati Bengals

The 21st pick in the 2012 Draft is sponsored by Montenegro.  Established in 2006, Montenegro is one of the youngest countries in the world.  If you know anything about Montenegro you would realize there is absolutely no reason it needed to be its own country.  Montenegro has one thing in abundance...rocks.  It is a mountanous rocky POS and now they have a flag.  Congrats all that Montenegran nationalism finally paid off!  p.s. good luck in this summer's olympics

The Cincinnati Bengals select Stephon Gilmore CB South Carolina.  Gilmore is the top CB on the board and the top need on the Bengals board.  They have a deep group of veteran CB's but they're old and slow.  They're franchise CB Leon Hall is recovering from season ending knee surgery.  Gilmore is a big CB that will do well supporting the run in the AFC North on cold December days in cities like Pittsburgh, Baltimore, and Cleveland.

#20 Tennessee Titans

...is sponsored by the Basque Kiwanis Club of Northern Spain. Spanglish speakers are not welcome. So, if you come into our region and ask "Hola, donde esta the nearest gas station", than it's a bullet to your head.

The Tennessee Titans select: Janoris Jenkins, CB, North Alabama (really Florida)

The onus for the Titans is to strengthen the offensive line, yet with the key blue-chip Tackles and Guards already selected, the Titans add Jenkins to compete for starting CB. With Cortland Finnegan now gone, this pick makes sense. Is this the second coming of Pacman Jones?

#19 Chicago Bears

Cambodia....knows how to par-tay...in the city....city of Phnom Penh...

With the 19th selection in the CMC Mock Draft the Chicago Bears select Whitney Mercilus DE Illinois. Total Lovie Smith pick here as he sticks to his comfort zone of finding pass rushers. Plus Whitney Mercilus is a cool name and he's already living in Illinois so the moving costs will be considerably cheaper.

#18 San Diego Chargers...

...sponsored by Turkmenistan President Gurbanguly Mälikgulyýewiç Berdimuhamedow. The Turkmenistanic ladies out there are ga-ga over Gurbanguly since he has that Josh Brolin/Dean Cain mixture of handsomeness. When President Berdimuhamedow played college basketball for the "Fighting Ottomans" at Ashgabat State, he was known as "Malik".

The San Diego Chargers select: Cordy Glenn, OG, Georgia

Every pundit and analysts perennial Superbowl Winner, the San Diego Chargers, are saddened to see DeCastro snagged by the 'Nati. So, they take the next best thing. It's time for Ryan Mathews to have a big season and Philip Rivers to have a half second of more pass protection. As long as Norv Turner is coaching, the Chargers will start out 2-6 and finish out 6-2.

#17 Cincinnati Bengals

The 17th Pick in the 2012 Draft is sponsored by CHAD. I promised not to go to the Africa well too often. This is my first African sponsor pick. But in my defense CHAD is by far the most bad ass country in the world and I saved it for my Bengals first pick. I contacted Chad President Idriss Deby and he told me "Please tell everyone you know...if you are looking for an African country to exploit we humbly request you consider Chad".

The Cincinnati Bengals Select David DeCastro G Stanford. This is the most important player on the Bengals draft board. DeCastro is the top G to come out of college in a long time. The Bengals have a big hole at G and DeCastro is penciled into the starter spot immediately. This pick is courtesy of the Carson Palmer trade.

#16 New York Jets

What better way to celebrate the nation of Ukraine then a picture of a fine (probably underaged) chick with a nice tight ass. That's why Ukraine is the official nation of the No. 16 pick of the CMC Mock Draft. Women with nice asses make for nice drafts.

The New York Jets select Michael Brockers DT LSU as another part of a front seven that needs to be consistently re-tooled and re-worked to strengthen the pass rush. With Brockes, Wilkerson, Pouha and Kenrick Ellis, there is a nice rotation of interior guys.

#15 Philadelphia Eagles

...is sponsored by the ambassador of Indian Basketball, Shanaka Weerasoriya aka "Bombay Jordan". Shanaka has averaged a triple double in every game of his career in the IBA and is considered the 2nd most popular Indian figure of all-time (behind Ghandi). He was gracious enough to allow this sponsorship to be advertised after the CMC Mock Draft staff pulled some strings.

Philadephia Eagles select: Mark Barron, S, Alabama

Eagles land a much needed safety to one of their biggest weaknesses: Defending the pass. Strange to think this was a troubled area after all 2011 FA signings.

#14 Dallas Cowboys

The No. 14 selection in the CMC Mock Draft is sponsored by this Armenian dude holding some grapes. He's obviously jacked about his crop this season and that in a nutshell is the sort of hope Armenia brings to its citizens.

The Cowboys select Dre Kirkpatrick CB Alabama with the 14th pick. The taller of the DBs in this draft class will help the Cowboys shore up their crappy pass defense. Kirkpatrick is versatile enough to where he could play safety in a pinch if need be.

#13 Arizona Cardinals

The 13th Pick is sponsored by Austria. How can a country thats tucked between Germany/Italy/Czech Republic have absolutely ZERO going on? Can you name one interesting thing about Austria (besides having a town called Fucking?). Seriously Austria is Germany's little bitch so much so that Poland is embarassed. If this was the 1612 NFL Draft instead of the 2012 NFL Draft Austria would be the shit.

The Arizona Cardinals Select Fletcher Cox DT Mississippi St. This represents a BPA pick. DT isnt at the top of the need list for Arizona as they could use help along the offensive line. If Cox is still on the board at 13 they would snag him. He is the fastest rising prospect in this draft. Everyone is looking for their own Vince Wilfork/BJ Raji and Cox has athletic fat guy written all over him.

#12 Seattle Seahawks

...is sponsored by Johan Josef I, prince of Liechtenstein (pronounced "LickenzeeDikkenStinerHeimerdinger"). Johan, referred to as "JJ" back in the good ol' days of 1818, was known to many as the first prince to ever mispronounce his country's name.

The Seattle Seahawks select: Quinton Coples, DE, UNC

Firstly, it was good Seattle picked up on the untested Matt Flynn so they would not be in a horse race to get a top rated QB.

The name of the game is to get to the QB and that's what Seattle wants in Coples, an intriguing blue-chip prospect. He will be quite a nice compliment on the other side of Chris Clemons.

#11 Kansas City Chiefs

The No. 11 pick in the CMC Mock Draft is sponsored by the rough and tumble housing projects of Greenland. It's like the South Bronx but without blacks, hispanics or crime.

The Kansas City Chiefs select Dontari Poe DT Memphis. At 6-3, 346 this is a big bitch that will plug a running hole on a defensive line. Poe is described as a "massive DL with a thick trunk".... need I say more.

#10 Buffalo Bills

The 10th pick in the draft is sponsored by American Samoa...we dare you to make fun of us. Seriously we dare you to say something bad about our culture. It would be our pleasure to rip you're spinal cord out and use it in our next Hakka.

The Buffalo Bills Select Riley Rieff OT Iowa the Bills are slowly putting together a solid roster through free agency and draft choices. Their biggest glaring weakness is along the line. If you give Fred Jackson and Ryan Fitzpatrick better blocking its scary how many points they could put up next year.

#9 Carolina Panthers...

...sponsored by North Korea, the 5-time winner of the Who's Who of International Governments, sponsored by Pez. Winning the award in 2008 thru 2011, the North Korean brass had 4 straight Who's Who's. 2012 marked a slim of slimmest margin of victories, as they were one vote away from losing to Syria, whose humanitarian efforts skyrocketed them to runner-up.

The Carolina Panthers select: Matt Kalil, OT, Southern Cal

Merry Christmas Carolina. In the name of BPA (and I am not talking about Bisphenol A, the toxic sh*t put in baby bottles) - the Panthers get the Best Player Available. How in the world could he slide so far? Same thing happened to Aaron Rodgers (who went 24th!!!). That's the draft for you. DeAngelo Williams just tweeted that he is rubbing his 5th straight one out in his auntie's bathroom.

#8 Miami Dolphins

The No. 8 pick in the CMC Mock Draft is sponsored by the Cub Scouts of Palestine. Yes the Cub Scouts of Palestine would just as soon blow your head off than shake your hand. You think it's a game? Nah these scouts are as real as it gets.

And the Miami Dolphins select Ryan Tannehill QB Texas A&M and this isn't necessarily an immediate upgrade at the position. Actually Tannehill probably will start the season on the bench behind Matt Moore but the Dolphins need a quarterback to build the franchise around and this is one that's very familiar with OC Mike Sherman since he played for him in college.

#7 Jacksonville Jaguars

The Seventh Pick in this years draft is sponsored by the new gay friendlier Canada. Lets face it those Canadian Mounties have an Office and a Gentleman thing going on...and its really cold there too. Canada is owning their overt cultural gayness so you have to give them credit for that (see also Moose, Bears, Canadian Geese, Purple Felt Crown Royal bags, and log cabins)

The Jacksonville Jaguars select WR Michael Floyd Notre Dame with Kalil slipping down the board this far the Jags will take a long look and get alot of phone calls to trade down. Honestly the Jags need playmakers on the outside more than anyone in the league. Gabbert is teetering on the brink of bust already but in his defense whose he got to target and how much tread does MJD have left on the tires? Laurent Robinson ain't the long term answer anymore than Billy Price or Cecil Shorts or any of the other CFL WR's they have on their roster.

#6 St Louis Rams...

...sponsored by the folks of the Khumbu region in Nepal, finally the old stomping grounds of Atreyu (from the NeverEnding Story) are revealed. Atreyu is now serving as an Accountant in the upper west side of Kathmandu, next to Denny's.

The St Louis Rams select: Justin Blackmon, WR, Oklahoma St.

Who is Sam Bradford's best WR now? Jonny Boz, Peter Cetera-Hanks, Donyell Farquarson??? Yeah exactly, those made up names might as well be true b/c I don't know who in the hell Sam threw spirals to in 2011.

There is Justin Blackmon and everybody else. Michael Floyd is a notch below and Kendall Wright is a bust-in-waiting. This happens to be the best available pick and the best need for the Rams all in one bowl of Dal Bhat.

#5 Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The people of the Falkland Islands welcome you to their land and hope you enjoy their women. Just stay the fuck away from the sheep.

With that being said the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will probably trade out of this pick will Claiborne and Richardson off the board. But since we have to make a selection I would say Melvin Ingram South Carolina OLB/DE is the choice here because while he isn't a perfect fit for their defense he is very versatile and a playmaker. Good, safe pick at No. 5

#4 Cleveland Browns

The 4th pick in the draft is sponsored by the Royal Family of the great nation of Luxembourg. We're the second richest country in the world per capita...so you know what? Stay out. We dont associate with dirtbags like the folks that do mock NFL drafts.

The Cleveland Browns select Trent Richardson RB Alabama
Miami and Kansas City will be targeting this pick as they will want to move up and grab Tannehill. If the Browns trade down they will miss out on Morris Claiborne and Trent Richardson who are the jewels of this draft after the top QB's. Assuming no trades at this spot the Cleveland Browns select Richardson. With Joe Thomas in the fold the Browns might be the only team in the league who doesnt want Ryan Kalil. Richardson is built for Cleveland football. He'll be a fan favorite from day 1.

#3 Minnesota Vikings...

...sponsored by Nouakchott's Street Market in Mauritania West Africa - a tough place to find a yellow cab.

The Minnesota Vikings select: Morris Claiborne, CB, LSU:

Ok, so everyone is thinking Matt Kalil here. But if one thinks like everyone, than mediocrity is sure to set in. The dropoff of talent in CB's versus OT's is steeper, therefore Morris is, in my opinion, the keeper.

#2 Washington Redskins

The second pick of the CMC Mock Draft is sponsored by the South American Republic of Suriname.

In 2012, Suriname was ranked joint 22nd with Japan in the worldwide Press Freedom Index by the organization Reporters without Borders. This was ahead of the US (47th), the UK (28th), and France (38th).


Yeah...fuck you America!


The Redskins select Robert Griffin III Baylor QB because they gave up three picks to move up to this slot for a quarterback and he's the best one available. 

#1 Indianapolis Colts

The first pick of the 2012 CMC Mock Draft is sponsored by the Republic of Azerbijan...we've got beaches, palm trees, cabbage, dates, and dragons. Its like a tropical paradise compared to those assholes next door in Armenia.

The Colts Select Andrew Luck QB Stanford this one is a no brainer. The Colts start the post Manning era with what they hope is a franchise QB for the next era. Will they regret passing on RGIII one day?

The 2012 CMC Draft Selection Order

Here's the order. Good luck to all.


1) Indianapolis Colts -- Mike
2) Washington Redskins -- Corey
3) Minnesota Vikings -- Cesar
4) Cleveland Browns -- Mike
5) Tampa Bay Buccaneers -- Corey
6) St. Louis Rams -- Cesar
7) Jacksonville Jaguars -- Mike
8) Miami Dolphins -- Corey
9) Carolina Panthers -- Cesar
10) Buffalo Bills -- Mike
11) Kansas City Chiefs -- Corey
12) Seattle Seahawks -- Cesar
13) Arizona Cardinals -- Mike
14) Dallas Cowboys -- Corey
15) Philadelphia Eagles -- Cesar
16) New York Jets -- Corey
17) Cincinnati Bengals -- Mike
18) San Diego Chargers -- Cesar
19) Chicago Bears -- Corey
20) Tennessee Titans -- Cesar
21) Cincinnati Bengals -- Mike
22) Cleveland Browns -- Corey
23) Detroit Lions -- Cesar
24) Pittsburgh Steelers -- Mike
25) Denver Broncos -- Corey
26) Houston Texans -- Cesar
27) New England Patriots -- Mike
28) Green Bay Packers -- Corey
29) Baltimore Ravens -- Cesar
30) San Francisco 49ers -- Mike
31) New England Patriots -- Corey
32) New York Giants -- Cesar