#13 Arizona Cardinals

The 13th Pick is sponsored by Austria. How can a country thats tucked between Germany/Italy/Czech Republic have absolutely ZERO going on? Can you name one interesting thing about Austria (besides having a town called Fucking?). Seriously Austria is Germany's little bitch so much so that Poland is embarassed. If this was the 1612 NFL Draft instead of the 2012 NFL Draft Austria would be the shit.

The Arizona Cardinals Select Fletcher Cox DT Mississippi St. This represents a BPA pick. DT isnt at the top of the need list for Arizona as they could use help along the offensive line. If Cox is still on the board at 13 they would snag him. He is the fastest rising prospect in this draft. Everyone is looking for their own Vince Wilfork/BJ Raji and Cox has athletic fat guy written all over him.

#12 Seattle Seahawks

...is sponsored by Johan Josef I, prince of Liechtenstein (pronounced "LickenzeeDikkenStinerHeimerdinger"). Johan, referred to as "JJ" back in the good ol' days of 1818, was known to many as the first prince to ever mispronounce his country's name.

The Seattle Seahawks select: Quinton Coples, DE, UNC

Firstly, it was good Seattle picked up on the untested Matt Flynn so they would not be in a horse race to get a top rated QB.

The name of the game is to get to the QB and that's what Seattle wants in Coples, an intriguing blue-chip prospect. He will be quite a nice compliment on the other side of Chris Clemons.

#11 Kansas City Chiefs

The No. 11 pick in the CMC Mock Draft is sponsored by the rough and tumble housing projects of Greenland. It's like the South Bronx but without blacks, hispanics or crime.

The Kansas City Chiefs select Dontari Poe DT Memphis. At 6-3, 346 this is a big bitch that will plug a running hole on a defensive line. Poe is described as a "massive DL with a thick trunk".... need I say more.

#10 Buffalo Bills

The 10th pick in the draft is sponsored by American Samoa...we dare you to make fun of us. Seriously we dare you to say something bad about our culture. It would be our pleasure to rip you're spinal cord out and use it in our next Hakka.

The Buffalo Bills Select Riley Rieff OT Iowa the Bills are slowly putting together a solid roster through free agency and draft choices. Their biggest glaring weakness is along the line. If you give Fred Jackson and Ryan Fitzpatrick better blocking its scary how many points they could put up next year.

#9 Carolina Panthers...

...sponsored by North Korea, the 5-time winner of the Who's Who of International Governments, sponsored by Pez. Winning the award in 2008 thru 2011, the North Korean brass had 4 straight Who's Who's. 2012 marked a slim of slimmest margin of victories, as they were one vote away from losing to Syria, whose humanitarian efforts skyrocketed them to runner-up.

The Carolina Panthers select: Matt Kalil, OT, Southern Cal

Merry Christmas Carolina. In the name of BPA (and I am not talking about Bisphenol A, the toxic sh*t put in baby bottles) - the Panthers get the Best Player Available. How in the world could he slide so far? Same thing happened to Aaron Rodgers (who went 24th!!!). That's the draft for you. DeAngelo Williams just tweeted that he is rubbing his 5th straight one out in his auntie's bathroom.

#8 Miami Dolphins

The No. 8 pick in the CMC Mock Draft is sponsored by the Cub Scouts of Palestine. Yes the Cub Scouts of Palestine would just as soon blow your head off than shake your hand. You think it's a game? Nah these scouts are as real as it gets.

And the Miami Dolphins select Ryan Tannehill QB Texas A&M and this isn't necessarily an immediate upgrade at the position. Actually Tannehill probably will start the season on the bench behind Matt Moore but the Dolphins need a quarterback to build the franchise around and this is one that's very familiar with OC Mike Sherman since he played for him in college.

#7 Jacksonville Jaguars

The Seventh Pick in this years draft is sponsored by the new gay friendlier Canada. Lets face it those Canadian Mounties have an Office and a Gentleman thing going on...and its really cold there too. Canada is owning their overt cultural gayness so you have to give them credit for that (see also Moose, Bears, Canadian Geese, Purple Felt Crown Royal bags, and log cabins)

The Jacksonville Jaguars select WR Michael Floyd Notre Dame with Kalil slipping down the board this far the Jags will take a long look and get alot of phone calls to trade down. Honestly the Jags need playmakers on the outside more than anyone in the league. Gabbert is teetering on the brink of bust already but in his defense whose he got to target and how much tread does MJD have left on the tires? Laurent Robinson ain't the long term answer anymore than Billy Price or Cecil Shorts or any of the other CFL WR's they have on their roster.