The First Pick in the 2024 CMC Mock Draft

 Chicago Bears Haiku

The Bears seem lost

Drafting a QB with Nail Polish

Probably won't help

The Chicago Bears Select Caleb Williams QB USC

Not a big surprise here.  The Bears take a guy that is the clear #1 but not uncontroversial.  Will they miss Justin Fields?  Probably not, but they will definitely not miss his soon to be escalating contract.   The reboot has begun again in Chicago...a city where QB's careers go to die.  Williams has the athletic ability that Fields had but seems a more polished thrower.   A QB that wears lipstick, has a pink phone, wears nail polish, and cries alot seems like a weird fit for the franchise of Dick Butkus and Mike Singletary.  

2024 CMC Mock Draft Order

 It's official! We're back!

1) Chicago - Mike 

2) Washignton - Corey

3) New England - Cesar

4) Arizona - Mike

5) l.A. Chargers - Corey

6) N.Y. Giants - Cesar

7) Tennesee - Mike

8) Atlanta - Corey

9) Chicago - Cesar

10) N.Y. Jets - Corey

11) Minnesota - Mike

12) Denver - Cesar

13) Las Vegas - Corey

14) New Orleans - Mike

15) Indianapolis - Cesar

16) Seattle - Corey

17) Jacksonville - Cesar

18) Cincinnati - Mike

19) L.A. Rams - Corey

20) Pittsburgh - Cesar

21) Miami - Mike

22) Philadelphia - Corey

23) Minnesota - Cesar

24) Dallas - Mike

25) Green Bay - Corey

26) Tampa Bay - Cesar

27) Arizona - Mike

28) Buffalo - Corey

29) Detroit - Cesar

30) Baltimore - Mike

31) San Francisco - Corey

32) Kansas City - Cesar

The 14th Pick in the 2022 CMC Mock Draft

Sponsored by the Converse Weapon.  In the '80's Converse was a problem.  All the stars were wearing weapons and cons.  Then Jordan and Nike showed up and took their lunch money.  Today...if you showed up at the court with a pair of Weapons they would look at you like you came over on the Mayflower.

The Baltimore Ravens select Jameson Williams WR Alabama 

Everyone has the Ravens going OL due to Ronny Stanley's injury woes.  I don't see a lot of value here.  But as a Bengals fan I know Lamar Jackson scares me to death.  Lamar Jackson with real weapons other than Mark Andrews scares me even more.  

The 13th Pick of the 2022 CMC Mock Draft...

 ...is sponsored by this clickbait advertisement.  How many old'n'krusty hackers click on this ad because of the guy on the right?

The Houston Texans select:  Kyle Hamilton, S, Notre Dame

Considered to be a top 5 overall on many boards, the Texans grab a dynamic playmaker in the defensive backfield who can also play into a LB position.  This tweener style projection lands Hamilton down into Houston's lap, which combined with Ekwonu, is a pair of First Round Paper Home Runs.

The 12th pick of the CMC Mock Draft

 This pick is sponsored by the Storm Big Hit. Probably my favorite bowling ball ever and the one I threw my first 750 series with. It wasn't even an expensive ball (as bowling balls go), but I averaged 210+ back-to-back years in league with this piece of equipment. No stories about smashing in this update...I mean except this one chick Heidi who gave me a tug in the parking lots at Interstate Lanes. Those were the days. 

With the 12th pick, the Minnesota Vikings select Ahmad "Sauce" Gardner, CB, Cincinnati

This dude was an absolute beast for the Bearcats and even when they were overmatched against Alabama in the playoff, Gardner was keeping Jamison Williams from completely going off. This is ultra-competitive alpha dog. I am a big fan. 

The 11th Pick in the 2022 CMC Mock Draft

 Sponsored by the Etonic Dream 1 High Top.  Hakeem wasn't going to let Jordan get all the shoe revenue.  Sampson had the Puma too.  So he turned his sites to Etonic....kingmakers in their own right, and came up with this gem.  Although sales were predictably disappointing outside of West Africa and Houston.  It still managed to look pretty sharp with those '80s Houston Rockets Jerseys

The Washington Commanders select Drake London WR USC the perfect complement to Scary Terry McLaurin, London is a big body receiver.  Carson Wentz is going to suck again but it won't be because he doesn't have weapons.  

The 10th Pick in the CMC Mock Draft

 This pick is sponsored by the fine array of biscuit sandwiches from Tudor Biscuit World in West Virginia (and Ohio and a few other states too). This shit was fire and made my one trip to West Virginia worthwhile. I mean I mainly went to smash this broad from Philly a bunch while she was in WV on a work assignment and that too was great. I obliterated that cooch at least a dozen times in the weekend. But then when I came back her husband reached out to me...I didn't know she was married. Oh well those biscuits were amazing.

With the 10th pick, the Jets select Derek Stingley Jr., CB, LSU

My Jets got a wide receiver for Zach Wilson and now they get a cornerback with crazy skills to help out one of the worst defenses in the league last year.