The 14th Pick in the 2022 CMC Mock Draft

Sponsored by the Converse Weapon.  In the '80's Converse was a problem.  All the stars were wearing weapons and cons.  Then Jordan and Nike showed up and took their lunch money.  Today...if you showed up at the court with a pair of Weapons they would look at you like you came over on the Mayflower.

The Baltimore Ravens select Jameson Williams WR Alabama 

Everyone has the Ravens going OL due to Ronny Stanley's injury woes.  I don't see a lot of value here.  But as a Bengals fan I know Lamar Jackson scares me to death.  Lamar Jackson with real weapons other than Mark Andrews scares me even more.  

The 13th Pick of the 2022 CMC Mock Draft...

 ...is sponsored by this clickbait advertisement.  How many old'n'krusty hackers click on this ad because of the guy on the right?

The Houston Texans select:  Kyle Hamilton, S, Notre Dame

Considered to be a top 5 overall on many boards, the Texans grab a dynamic playmaker in the defensive backfield who can also play into a LB position.  This tweener style projection lands Hamilton down into Houston's lap, which combined with Ekwonu, is a pair of First Round Paper Home Runs.

The 12th pick of the CMC Mock Draft

 This pick is sponsored by the Storm Big Hit. Probably my favorite bowling ball ever and the one I threw my first 750 series with. It wasn't even an expensive ball (as bowling balls go), but I averaged 210+ back-to-back years in league with this piece of equipment. No stories about smashing in this update...I mean except this one chick Heidi who gave me a tug in the parking lots at Interstate Lanes. Those were the days. 

With the 12th pick, the Minnesota Vikings select Ahmad "Sauce" Gardner, CB, Cincinnati

This dude was an absolute beast for the Bearcats and even when they were overmatched against Alabama in the playoff, Gardner was keeping Jamison Williams from completely going off. This is ultra-competitive alpha dog. I am a big fan. 

The 11th Pick in the 2022 CMC Mock Draft

 Sponsored by the Etonic Dream 1 High Top.  Hakeem wasn't going to let Jordan get all the shoe revenue.  Sampson had the Puma too.  So he turned his sites to Etonic....kingmakers in their own right, and came up with this gem.  Although sales were predictably disappointing outside of West Africa and Houston.  It still managed to look pretty sharp with those '80s Houston Rockets Jerseys

The Washington Commanders select Drake London WR USC the perfect complement to Scary Terry McLaurin, London is a big body receiver.  Carson Wentz is going to suck again but it won't be because he doesn't have weapons.  

The 10th Pick in the CMC Mock Draft

 This pick is sponsored by the fine array of biscuit sandwiches from Tudor Biscuit World in West Virginia (and Ohio and a few other states too). This shit was fire and made my one trip to West Virginia worthwhile. I mean I mainly went to smash this broad from Philly a bunch while she was in WV on a work assignment and that too was great. I obliterated that cooch at least a dozen times in the weekend. But then when I came back her husband reached out to me...I didn't know she was married. Oh well those biscuits were amazing.

With the 10th pick, the Jets select Derek Stingley Jr., CB, LSU

My Jets got a wide receiver for Zach Wilson and now they get a cornerback with crazy skills to help out one of the worst defenses in the league last year. 

The 9th Pick in the 2022 CMC Mock Draft

 The 9ht Pick in the CMC Mock Draft is sponsored by the year 1991. 

If you are too young to remember...let me tell you about that sweet son of a bitch we called 1991.  Fun facts

1) Jordan was king

2) Pearl Jam was on fire

3) Fresh Prince of Bel Air was #1 on TV
4) Kentucky Fried Chicken started officially calling themselves KFC so they didnt have to pretend that was chicken

5) Super Nintendo was crushing it

6) Operation Desert Storm was underway and reminding the world that "These Colors Don't Run"

7) No Fear and Oakley stickers were popping up on car windows everywhere

Most importantly it was the second ever CMC mock draft and Ohio Ice nailed pick #1 Russel Maryland.  Although admittedly.  1991 NFL draft was a giant trash can (historically speaking) 

The Seattle Seahawks Select Travon Walker DL Georgia

If Walker is here at #9 it would be hard to pass him up.  The Seahawks need help just about everywhere but long snapper.  Walker could be the cornerstone of a new generation of intimidating Seattle defenses. 

The 8th Pick in the CMC Mock Draft

 This pick is sponsored by former Florida Gators head coach Ron Zook looking extremely lost.

I have no question what question was asked. I presume it was something football based, which means the quizzical look makes no sense. Did someone ask Ron about his favorite lasagna recipe? We'll never know.

The Atlanta Falcons select Jermaine Johnson II, EDGE, Florida State

This crazy run on pass rushers continues. You need pass rushers in a division that has Tom Brady and Jameis Winston. Presumably you need one against Sam Darnold too, but I think Johnson just running close to him and yelling "BOO" will do the same trick. Falcons get a boost on defense with the ACC Defensive Player of the Year. 

The 7th Pick in the CMC 2022 Mock Draft...

 ...is sponsored by the party that bought this piece of shit on a stick.  Are you serious?  Did you really purchase this Yugo car for 12k?  Imagine driving this bitch up in some mountains?

The New York Giants select...Kayvon Thibodeaux, EDGE, Oregon

Wow would this be a dream scenario here to nab both Hutchinson and Thibodeaux in 1st round.  Talk about one fucking haul here.  The Giants have been so bad in the past decade at getting to the QB.  They now instantly turn this team into a bunch of crazed dogs.  If each of these guys can be 35% as good as LT, then these are home run #5 and #7 overall selections.

The 6th Pick in the 2022 CMC Mock Draft

Sponsored by Z Cavaricci Denim.  Not only is Z Cavaricci the original sponsor of the CMC Mock Draft.  I was wearing my Z Cav's in 1990 when I made my first ever CMC Mock Draft Pick Jeff George QB Illinois to the Colts.

The Carolina Panthers Select Charles Cross OL Mississipi State

The Panthers need a QB unless you think Sam Darnold is the answer...and if you think he is the answer then I dont think I know what the question is.  Not a lot of value at QB at this point in this draft. They might be able to snag a Top 4 QB in Round 2 if they are dead set on getting a QB in this draft.  Cross is a late fast riser in this draft and could be off the board before Evan Neal  

The 5th Pick in the CMC 2022 Mock Draft...

 ...is sponsored by quite possibly one of the most beautiful women of all time in American politics.  Every young man out there wishes to have this cougar meowing beside him.  She has been named most sexiest woman alive by "White Illinois Hitler Youth Magazine" from 2019-2022:  An incredible 4 years in a row.

The New York Giants select...Aidan Hutchinson, DE, Michigan.

To have both this guy and Thibodeaux available is a pretty nice spot to be in.  I simply have to go with the dominant guy in a conference with bigger and better O-linemen (Big 10).  Giants have to be excited in finally landing a blue-chip EDGE guy and lining him up outside of Ojulari.

The 4th Pick in the CMC Mock Draft

 This pick sponsored by Pepto for Children's. Hey lil sonny, suck down this pink paste-y shit before you tackle mom's meatloaf for the night. 

The New York Jets select: Garrett Wilson, WR, Ohio State

Gotta get Zach Wilson some weapons and Garrett Wilson is my pick as the best wide receiver in the draft. Speed, size, hands, playmaking ability...Wilson has the total package. I think he's the next Mike Evans. 

The 3rd Pick in the 2022 CMC Mock Draft

 Sponsored by this vintage 1980's My Little Pony Trapper Keeper.  Get this sweet son of a bitch for the bronie in your life and he will love you forever....maybe not as much as he loves my little pony. For the low low cost of $300 on amazon

The Houston Texans Select Ikem Ekwonu OL NC State

What do you get the franchise that has nothing.  How about a possible generational OL that can play all five positions on the offensive line.  I feel bad for anyone drafted by the Texans they appear to be in year 2 of a 15 year rebuild plan. 

2022 CMC Mock Draft Pick #2

 Sponsored by Honey Roasted Biena ChickPea Snacks...seriously what kind of possible delusions did I have before buying this at Walmart last weekend?  This is pure Bok Tower 0.25 cent machine squirrel food with a honey nut spritz.  Fucking terrible.

The Detroit Lions select...

Kenny Pickett, QB, Pittsburgh

We all know the reaches are going to happen for QB's.  Lions invest in their future as KP will not compete for QB1 over Jared Goff.  He will learn his trade.  So what he has small hands; the man can throw and run.  

CMC 1st Pick of the Draft

Only the finest special guests take part in the CMC Mock Draft and this year is no different. Going back to the random guest picker format, announcing the selection for the Jacksonville Jaguars is former 2002 fourth-round selection...quarterback David Garrard!

The Jacksonville Jaguars select:

Evan Neal, OT, Alabama

Trevor Lawrence needs someone to protect that beautiful mane of his and who better than the 6-foot-7, 335-pound Neal. He's a horse. He's a thoroughbred. If American Pharoah was a human being, it would be Evan Neal. Jaguars baby!

2022 Mock Draft intro with lineups!

After a 3-year hiatus, the CMC Mock Draft is BAAACK BITCHACHOS!  We all have been very busy with our modeling careers at Barbizon and John Casablancas.  Our Instagram, TikTok, AOL Online Chat accounts have been hammered by all our great fans begging us to come back.  Here we are.

So, let's get started with the 2022 CMC Mock Draft...sponsored by...

Tuan "TQ" Nguyen

TQ fights for American People's Interests and says "Fuck You" to partisan fights.  Let's be American together gdammit!  TQ for US Senate!

Corey is on deck - Take it away C$!